Waiting
by Maeve Rogers
Summary: I was a SHIELD agent, inprisoned by HYDRA. I was rescued and this is my story.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my story, and mine alone. I have my past, and although I'm not proud of some parts, it is part of me.**

 **I will never let it go.**

Part One - Hail Hydra

 _Hail Hydra._

 _Hail Hydra._

 _HAIL HYDRA!_

Words. Always the words. The same two over and over and over, twisting her thoughts and wrecking her mind. But she was strong, and she would survive the endless days, the harsh, bare nights in a Hydra prison. Waiting. Always waiting. But for what? She knew the answer. It was life's great answer that no one and yet everyone knew.

Lea was waiting for death.

"Wake up you insolent _arschloch_ ". The German officer was relentless with his baton to wake her up, hitting the bars of her cell. Even though though Lea was supposed to be left alone. No one wanted her messing with them. Not with her skills. Lea yawned sleepily and stretched like a cat.

"I'm feeling a bit down today. Maybe you can make me feel better. If not, well, I might have to see about solitary confinement for a week." He spat in her face.

 _Bastard_. She thought. But still focused her efforts into the particles that flowed down from her fingertips, flooding around his head and sensing the man's emotions. It turned grey to indicate a small amount of depression. Then Lea willed it to turn a vibrant yellow, the colour of happiness, and it sank through his temples. The officer would walk out of the cell block whistling. Using her energy to entertain the officers was annoying an degrading, but still better than the beating Lea's already weak body would receive if she didn't.

 **As you can see, it's probably pretty clear what my powers were. I could manipulate emotions, bend them to my will, but I could also read people like books. Their whole emotional history was in their brain, it was just mine for the taking.**

Lea was a prisoner of Hydra, but she was a SHIELD agent. She would never stop fighting them, no matter how awful the torture got, no matter how long she was kept in solitary confinement. They were trying to convert her, to turn her into a slave. Although Lea was resisting the torture, she had never estimated that they would go to the extremes that they did before her escape.

"Up you dumb girl, get up!" The female guard snarled at her. Taking as long as was humanly possible, Lea rolled over, stretched and clambered to her feet. There wasn't much to do in her cell, so she spent most of her time sleeping, and keeping her strength up.

"Time to go, you know where today's location is." She smirked and opened Lea's cell.

"It's the same as everyday, of course I know." She replied sarcastically.

 **Director Fury always said that my sarcasm was genetic. I guess he was right, because even in my situation, I was always able summon a sarky comment, or a hidden jab at the guards. But anyway, you'll be wanting to know where they took me, won't you?**

Lea was screaming. The pain she was experiencing right now, in that very second, was unimaginable.

"Stop."

The disembodied voice that haunted her mind, screaming 'HAIL HYDRA' was talking to her again.

"Are you ready to submit yet, Agent? Because if not, we can go again, and again, and again. So, if you wish for your pain to end, say it. You know what I mean." Of course she did. The two words that Lea would still not allow herself to utter. Not even in her mind. She had been forced to use her own powers against herself, sinking the stream of light straight into her heart. It was excruciating, and Lea had had enough.

"I will no longer be your play thing! I am not your slave!" She screamed to the two way mirror that help the man speaking to her. And with that, she smacked her own arm, activating the tracker that the electricity treatment they'd given her had rebooted. The skin on her left bicep glowed red for a few seconds, and Lea waited for a minute, then sent streams of her power flowing under the door to the guards. They slept immediately. Half an hour passed, then an hour. Lea was tiring quickly from the constant stream of power holding the guards back. Then, just as she was about to give up hope, the door was flung open by none other than Director Fury, accompanied by Natasha Romanoff. Lea dropped her arms, and staggered towards them.

"Director, I didn't tell them anything. I didn't tell them..." She whispered.

"She might have waited too long Director..."

Then the world went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The room Lea was in was bare apart from medical equipment, but at least it was warm. And had no German officers ready to torture her.

"Where... Where am I?" Lea asked to no one in particular, sitting up immediately and pulling the electrodes off her forehead and arms.

"I believe that the doctor would prefer you to leave those on, Agent." Said a familiar voice. "You're in the Avengers tower. Welcome back to America."

Lea looked to her left and saw Nick Fury looking at her. He was exactly the same as she remembered him, with the eyepatch and black trench coat don't-mess-with-me look.

"Director, how long was I gone?" She asked. It had felt like years in that hell hole, but she needed to know for sure.

"You've been declared MIA Lea, you were gone for a year, five months and 12 days. I'm afraid we wiped all of your fingerprints, retinal scans and passcode a from the system, so you'll have to go through examination again. If, you want to come back of course."

 **At this point, my world was starting to piece itself back together. Although I had missed basically a year and a half of my life being tortured, I was ready to throw myself back into SHIELD. Unfortunately, that wasn't what Fury had in mind.**

"Director, I'm fine. Just get me out of this place and I'll get through the examinations in no time."

"Lea... Before we do anything like this I need to know what they did to you. This could have affected you hugely, under that amount of strain for such a long time." He said almost gently.

"When they kidnapped me I was questioned nicely. Then they began slowly starving me. For a long time it was beating and hitting me, until my powers kicked in to help. Then they administered poisons and gave me the antidote at the last possible second. Then I was left in solitary confinement for weeks. After that, nothing for what seemed like months. Then, the day you found me, they found a way to use my self defense mechanisms against me. After watching my powers strike out against a beating, they experimented on how to make it attack me."

 **A quick explanation here. If I use my powers against myself, it results in incredible pain and generally me passing out. The reaction is due to a flaw in my mutated gene (the one that gives me my power) and in the following months I would spend time trying to solve it through genetic engineering.**

Lea was beginning to struggle telling Nick Fury all the details of her time in prison.

"Eventually the base commander found a way to trigger it. He electrocuted me, while I was in an isolated room, and since my powers can only identify living things, the source of the problem it identified was me. So I was attacked by my own defenses." Although it was painful for Lea to remember, her voice remained strong and unwavering. Fury saw how strong a person she was, and made up his mind.

"Agent, I believe that you are ready to undergo examinations, and I will be expecting you to report to me tomorrow morning at 08:00. Then you're going to be training with your new team."


	3. Chapter 3

Lea had stayed in the tower infirmary, despite what Fury had said. It was probably that fact that she was still in a small amount of shock, and also because Lea had nowhere to go since her apartment had been sold. Today though, was a different matter. Lea knew that she would have to be in control and confident.

 **I guess that looking back I made a good impression on that day. I mean, you can't exactly ask for more than what I did, can you?**

Lea had yet to see the rest of the tower. When she did, it all seemed to be very modern and borderline futuristic, which was exactly how SHIELD had been the whole time she was with them. It was comforting being surrounded by the familiar décor.

"Agent Connor?" Lea heard a female voice behind her, and turned to see Natasha Romanoff stood there.

"Agent Romanoff, hello." She said, examining the woman and deciding that she didn't look like much, but Lea knew that she was a hell of a lot more dangerous than what she could see.

"How're you? You're looking great after the way you were a few days ago." She glanced sideways at Lea, sizing her up. Eventually Natasha decided that Agent Connor was similar to herself, which was good.

"Well, I feel great, but I'm still a bit confused since Fury hasn't told me who my new team is."

"Oh hasnt he? That's odd, I though he was gonna brief you before you came down. Ah well, I'll let Barton do it, he's better at that kind of thing."

"Okay..."

I **guess that since we're this far into my story, you should probably get an idea of what I look like. I have straight blonde hair that reaches about halfway down my back and I generally wear it tied back. I have blue/grey eyes and I'm about 5'7" and can be described as being athletically built, although when I joined my team I had lost some weight from my 'experience'.**

The first thing Lea noticed as she stepped into the meeting room was her team. And not just any team, she was looking at the Avengers, plus Director Fury, who was sat at the head of the table. They seemed to be looking at her, waiting for an 'oh my god you guys saved the world holy shit' reaction, but Lea had no intention of doing anything like that. She just smiled at the gathering and took a seat in between Fury and Tony Stark.

"Agent Connor, good of you to join us. I'm sorry I missed your briefing, but I thought it would be better to assemble everyone to make it easier. You're being assigned to the Avengers Initiative. I'm sure you're familiar with the concept so I'll just get straight into business. Today we'll run you through some of the basic training exercises to see how well you're feeling, and also to test how strong your powers are. Clear so far?" Fury explained. Lea nodded, and the next hour was her getting her fingerprint and retina scans back into the system and all her pass codes being checked. Then they headed down to the gym.

"Captain Rogers and Agent Barton will be assessing the strength of your powers, so give it everything you've got Agent." Fury directed her to the centre of the room and she was asked to demonstrate her powers. She built up a shimmering aura around herself and sent it to envelope Tony Stark. It turned a khaki green, indicating boredom, but had a slight tinge of purple, which was apprehension.

"Someone thinks I'm a joke," she muttered, and the cloud turned a dull blue, sank into his temples, the Tony Stark collapsed, sobbing uncontrollably, onto the floor.

"Emotions?" Lea turned towards the question, seeing Steve Rogers looking at her.

"Yeah, it's quite cool sometimes." She shrugged. "Alright Stark, stop crying!" She created another aura, this one white, to remove the traces of her power and restore his own emotions.

"That was... Weird." He said, looking a bit confused.

"Alright, Lea, can you do this to multiple people at once? Do you have to have a lot of concentration? Show us your full potential, please." The Captain was speaking again, and Lea happily obliged, the auras easily forming now, snaking along the floor in yellow loops and hitting its targets. The whole room (except Lea) burst into laughter, and they didn't even know why. She waited a few seconds then removed the effect.

"Wow... Okay... Let's see... How combat... Skills are..." Clint Barton was wheezing after the laughing fit, and the rest of the team was in a similar state.

Now the centre of the room was a sparring arena, and Lea was fighting Clint Barton first. She recalled his fighting style from previous missions, he never liked to fight in close quarters, preferring to keep his distance. That wasn't happening with Lea.

When they were both ready, she immediately ran at Barton, feinting to the left then twisting to the right, winding him and kicking his legs out from underneath him. Barton hit the floor with a thud, them got back up, shaking his head.

"Having fun yet?" She called from the other side of the gym.

"Oh yeah, just got my ass kicked by a total loser obviously, but I'm feeling great." He taunted back.

"Great, I can do it again then!" She grinned and ran again at the assassin, this time sliding beneath him at the last minute, jumping up and slamming her feet into his back behind him. He stumbled again but didn't fall. Now it was his turn to attack. Clint had obviously decided he wouldn't lose to her, so he came closer, throwing fast punches that had Lea dancing around trying to avoid him. One hit her in the shoulder and spun her away, catching her off balance. Lea still didn't fall, and this time summoned her full aura, it filled the room and engulfed Clint. She turned it black.

"Let's see how scared you can get, Barton." She whispered, and sank the full cloud into his head. He started screaming, at the floor, at the walls, at anyone and anything, backing away and swatting at the air as if fighting invisible flies. It was traumatising for the whole team, to watch one of them writhing around on the floor while this woman stood over him.

"Give up yet Barton?" She called. He just whimpered and nodded in return, so Lea sent the white aura towards him, and soon he had returned to his normal self, albeit still sat on the floor shaking.

"We need her on our side..." He said when the whole team approached him.

"Hey, you okay?" Lea asked.

"I will be, but Jesus Christ I didn't think you had that in you." He smiled weakly up at her, a new respect in his eyes. Lea offered a hand and dragged Clint to his feet.

 **That was the main event of that day. The rest was just strength, agility, endurance and intelligence tests; the Avengers Initiative required the very best in an agent. My life from this point just went up, since I felt like I belonged a lot more than with any other SHIELD team I had been assigned to.**


	4. Chapter 4

Fanfic - Waiting

Chapter 4

"Miss Connor, I believe that Director Fury is here wishing to speak with you." Came a voice. JARVIS was waking her up to talk with Fury about something or another. Lea had no idea what.

"Hey Lea! Get up you idiot Fury's here!" Clint yelled through her door.

"I'm ready! I'm just sticking my hair up! Gimme 10 seconds!" She yelled back, walking towards the door as she tied her hair up in a high ponytail.

"10... 9... 8... 7..." Clint was counting outside as Lea flung open the door and shoved him.

"Shut up. Do you have any idea what he wants to see me about?" She asked.

"Well..." He shifted nervously.

"Barton? What is it?"

"It's about your team I think. I've just heard rumours, but apparently... I'll let Fury tell you." He looked away sadly.

"No! You tell me. I'd rather hear it from you first." She said firmly.

"Fine... Apparently he might be moving you to the Avengers Initiative Mark Two. A second group of gifted people so we can be spread out more to complete missions. I'm sorry Lea, but you won't be coming on any missions with us." He turned away and walked towards the meeting room.

"Oh for... Ugh!" She yelled frustratedly.

When Lea stepped into the meeting room, there was an extra person there.

"Agent Connor, this is Maeve, or Viper, as a code. She's been a member of the team for a while now but you two have never met due to circumstances. Maeve has been injured the past week so you haven't seen her. Understood?" Fury explained as she sat down.

"I guess, sir." She said, looking the newcomer up and down. She didn't look like much.

"Now, Lea, I've called everyone here because I'm transferring you. We are starting an Avengers Intiative Mark Two, it's been in operation for a while but their first real mission is in a few weeks or so. I'll need your expertise and experience to help them. Do you think you can do this?"

"I don't really have a choice, do I Director?" She said, a hint of bitterness in her voice. Fury sighed, as Steve spoke up.

"Sir, will Maeve be transferred as well?" The woman stiffened slightly, but relaxed so as not to show her anxiety.

"No Captain. Maeve will be staying with your team."

"Thank you, director." Steve said, turning towards Maeve and smiling, his expression softer than she'd ever seen it, and Maeve's face melted out of the icy expression she'd worn since briefing started as she returned it. _They're dating,_ Lea realised with a start.

 **Seeing the way Maeve and Steve looked at each other that day reminded me of how I thought Evan used to look at me. He's another story though. I need to tell it properly.**

"Director, I'd like to know why exactly I'm being transferred but this Maeve, isn't. Can I have a reason?" Lea questioned, irked that she was just being pushed away to another team after everything.

"Well, her record speaks for itself. Maeve has an incredible skill set, and has successfully completed a mission with her team."

"One mission doesn't speak for much, sir."

"She's been here for months, so she can work to everyone's needs and fits around the advantages and disadvantages of the team." Fury continued. "Given that fact that she is a Red Room assassin, Agent, and as well as that she can manipulate fire, water and metal, plus Maeve can control pure energy within herself, I believe she is better qualified than you!"

"But-"

"End of dicussion Agent! There are files waiting for you in your quarters. Maeve's is one of them. I expect you to read up on your team and get to grips with Maeve's abilities as well since there may come a time when your two teams may come together." Fury was getting annoyed now, and Lea thought she might have pushed a bit too much.

"Fine. But I would like to know why I wasn't warned of this in advance." She muttered.

"The director can share whatever amount of information he pleases, if that is all or none of it, then it shouldn't be your concern. You've been here a week, you have no right to go around demanding information left, right and center." The woman, Maeve, stepped in, speaking coldly.

"Oh really? Well, I'm sorry 'your highness' but I'd like to know, so I'll get the answers!" Lea raised her voice slightly. The team turned to look at her, surprised.

"Oh please, you're just making your situation worse. You are acting like a child, Agent Connor." Maeve rolled her eyes and turned away, back to Fury, who spoke to Lea.

"Dismissed, Agent. And clean up your attitude!"

Lea shot a look at Maeve, one that conveyed frustration and hatred, but she knew that she had betrayed her own jealousy in it as well. Leaving the room, Lea dragged her feet back to her quarters.


	5. Chapter 5

Fanfic - Waiting

Chapter 5

 **So. In the last part I mention Evan didn't I? Well, he's a tale by himself. Raised from birth by HYDRA, he has no morals and only follows his superiors' orders. He's one of their top agents, and cannot be swayed in the matters concerning which side he is on. Another fact is that I hate him with every atom of my body.**

 **Evan and I met in New York. It was winter and I had slipped while crossing the road, nearly falling straight into traffic, but Evan managed to get me out of harm's way. Our relationship escalated from there, until I thought that he loved me.**

 **I was so wrong.**

 **The night that I was taken prisoner, Evan and I had just split up after a year of dating. Of course, I never gave him any SHIELD intel, but he knew I was an agent. I never saw any reason to see him as a threat, and certainly not a HYDRA agent, although sometimes I had some doubts stirred by the way he would be speaking down the phone about me** **at 3am** **in the morning, or the fact that he would sometimes take me out for walks where I would get the feeling we were being watched. When this happened I would demand to go home, so I don't think they ever saw that much of me. That night I was emotional and unfocused, so they had a small amount of trouble capturing me (I.e, a wall knocked through) instead of what I would normally do to evade capture (blow up the apartment while using the fire escape). He saw me a few times in prison, but only to taunt me about how naive and trusting I was. It was then I realised that he had never been genuine. I was a target and HYDRA had just been waiting for the right opportunity.**

 **I had always been a target since that cold winters morning.**


End file.
